Juggling Fatherhood, Coding, and Gaming
My son is nearly three years old, and since he entered the world, my life has changed in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I love him dearly, but let’s face it: time is a rare and precious resource. My weekday free time boils down to two hours a night — from 9:00 to 11:00 PM. Weekends? Fully devoted to family time. The rest of the week is a whirlwind of work, childcare, cooking, cleaning, groceries, self-care, taking care of my mother, and even fixing the dishwasher.
But even during those two golden hours, it’s not really “me” time. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I’m on bedtime duty, ensuring my son drifts off peacefully. He usually wakes up at least once between 9:00 and 11:00 PM, requiring me to jump into emergency mode, baby monitor in hand. It’s only when my wife and I crawl into bed together that he sleeps soundly. So in reality, I get about four solid hours to myself during the workweek.
Taking care of myself and my relationship with my wife often feels like climbing a mountain. And it’s not just the busyness — we or our child are often sick, which makes everything even harder to juggle. There are days when being happy feels like the hardest thing in the world. Honestly, I have no idea how people manage with two or more kids.
The Negative Spiral: When Gaming Takes Over
Here’s how a bad week can unfold:
Monday night hits, and I boot up a competitive game like League of Legends or Heroes of the Storm. It’s intense, and just as I’m about to secure a win, my son wakes up screaming. I leave the game, get banned for abandoning my team, and feel frustrated. My wife heads to bed, and instead of following her lead, I think, “Just one more game.” Suddenly, it’s 1:00 AM.
Morning comes too soon. My son wakes up at 7:00, and it’s my turn to get him ready for kindergarten. By the time I’ve dropped him off, it’s 9:00 AM, and I’m back at my desk. But I’m so tired that I can’t focus. I open YouTube to play a podcast while I code, but 10 minutes in, I’m watching random videos instead of working. The day slips away, and at 5:00 PM, I feel unproductive, tired, and annoyed with myself. The evening routine kicks in: cooking, cleaning, bedtime. By 9:00 PM, I’m so drained I crave the same stress-inducing game that started the cycle. Cue neck pain, finger cramps, and another late night.
Breaking the Cycle: Finding a Positive Spiral
Through trial and error, I’ve figured out that gaming isn’t relaxing — it’s a stressor disguised as fun. What I really needed was a sense of accomplishment and connection. That realization led me to an unexpected solution: contributing to open-source projects on GitHub.
Instead of grinding in a virtual battlefield, I started tackling real issues in packages I use for my work. The feedback from the developer community made me excited. People were genuinely thankful for my contributions, and I felt valued in a way that gaming couldn’t match. Best of all, it didn’t stress me out. Sure, I sometimes stayed up until 1:00 AM fixing bugs, but the energy was entirely different. Waking up the next morning felt… okay.
What surprised me most was how giving up competitive gaming didn’t feel like a loss. In fact, the benefits of not playing those games far outweighed the sacrifices. I found more peace, less stress, and greater focus — things I hadn’t expected.
Replacing Distractions
To stay focused during work hours, I installed a browser plugin called LeechBlock NG. It limits my access to YouTube and news sites to 15 minutes every three hours. With distractions minimized, my productivity improved, and I started enjoying my work again. My mood lifted, and that positivity spilled over into my family life.
As for gaming, I didn’t quit entirely. I still play, but I’ve shifted to games that allow me to pause and step away if needed. For example, Path of Exile and Portal have become my go-to choices. These games let me pause and step away whenever my son wakes up, so I can tend to him without feeling rushed or irritated. It’s a small change, but it has made a huge difference in my mood and how I handle those interruptions. Also, these games are less tense and don’t leave me frustrated. This balance lets me enjoy gaming without it taking over my life.
Lessons Learned
Balancing fatherhood, coding, and gaming is no easy feat. I’ve learned to prioritize activities that genuinely recharge me and to let go of habits that drain my energy. It’s still a work in progress, but finding joy in small victories — whether it’s squashing a bug in a GitHub repo or making my son laugh — has made all the difference.
Parenting and coding are both full of challenges, but they’ve taught me resilience, patience, and the value of time. And as for the dishwasher? It’s still broken. But hey, one thing at a time.
